


A Silent Sound Of Loneliness

by Glaux_Bryonia



Category: Monochrome Factor
Genre: Akira helps, Drinking & Talking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hair Brushing, Literal Sleeping Together, Lonely Shirogane, Platonic Cuddling, Shuichi can be manipulative, Touch-Starved, Touching, very mild angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5265806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glaux_Bryonia/pseuds/Glaux_Bryonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thud of Shirogane's braid against the floor whispers of loss and fallen comrades. It is a quiet sound that is testament to the Shadow King's loneliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Silent Sound Of Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> This short something recently took possession of my brain and I had to write it down to get it out. It does not match canon exactly, but personally I think canon failed on quite a few important points anyway. At least I had fun writing this. Word of warning: the author's note at the end contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Shuichi was concerned, and not just slightly. Rightfully so, in his opinion.

Shirogane was drinking. No more than a human out to indulge in the taste of good spirits, and behaving as blissfully unconcerned as said human, but the mere fact alone in combination with  _what_  he was drinking was enough that Shuichi had become suspicious of the cause. And while most of the time he tried to do the polite thing and not read people, sometimes it was better to put manners aside and just allow his ability to flow free, especially when a friend was so burdened.

What he had discovered had chilled him to the bone.

He knew that Shirogane had been devastated by Ryuuko's death. Not surprising, given that Ryuuko had died in his arms, and Shuichi had known that the relationship between the two had never been what it had seemed to those who did not have the ability to see past the exterior and straight into the heart of people. For all their bickering, they had cared deeply about each other. The two direct Kings had been each other's counterpart for as long as either had been able to remember. Two halves of a whole, who had been each other's only constant in the eternal ebb and flow of Light and Shadow they had been the rulers of.

Siblings in every meaning of the word, with all the griping, barbed words, and petty fights that entailed. Inseparable as the light and dark sides of the moon.

Only Homurabi had separated them. Viciously, gleefully, and without a shred of remorse. And had had the gall to be amused as one had to watch the other slip away, knowing there was nothing in either worlds that could save the Light King in time. The usurper hadn't killed Shirogane, which was fortunate for the world. But for the silver-haired King, it had been crueler than any death Homurabi could have dealt him. Shuichi was sure that death would have been a kindness, and far more preferred than this bitter exile.

Partially because, Shuichi's himself aside, Shirogane was  _alone_. Completely and utterly. Not a single shin left to keep him company as the years passed. All who had been loyal to him had been killed, and Shirogane had felt the bonds he had had with them be destroyed. Each death had wounded him further and further, leaving a gaping chasm in his soul. It had shattered something inside the white-haired shin that might never recover, and had left the King so empty he was barely capable of normal human empathy, no matter how well he pretended to be fine. The only things that the Shadow King had left to bind him to life was his sense of duty and his desire to see Homurabi destroyed.

Shuichi had thought Shirogane's bond with Akira had mellowed that. At least eased the strain of grief far enough so his old friend could start healing himself, and maybe remind the royal shin that he could still find something in this world that would make life worth living after Homurabi had been dealt with.

But thinking back on it now, the fact that Shirogane still bound his hair should have been sign enough that the bond between King and Childe wasn't as close as it should be. Shuichi had gotten used to it over the years, but even now the soft  _thump_  of plait and metal clasp hitting the floor whenever the Shadow King sat down reminded Shuichi of fallen comrades.

Once, one of the ways the direct Kings had bonded with their Children was by asking them to aid them with combing their hair. It was what Ryuuko had done, back before he had made Shuichi a King. It was simple, peaceful work, and a perfect way to show a still uncertain Childe that he was trusted and welcome to seek out his King's company. It was also useful in that it helped keep the inhumanly long manes that were symbols of their exalted station in order, as the Kings trying to look after it themselves only ever ended with inflamed tempers. It was difficult to get their long hair free of tangles when they had to move constantly to reach the ends. It was far more preferable to have one of their Children tend to it instead.

But the thud of braided hair hadn't disappeared even after Akira had accepted what Shirogane had gifted him with. He had witnessed them arguing often enough, but he had assumed that their ire originated from leftover combat stress and the precarious war they were waging. If Akira was  _still_  denying Shirogane's role and position in his life then his old friend was surely badly afflicted. Rejection from a Childe hurt at the best of times, never mind when Shirogane was already weakened by loss and exile. It was probably mostly caused by frustration and ignorance on Akira's part, but if what Shuichi suspected was right, then Shirogane would not enlighten the nescient teen anytime soon, out of fear of frightening the new shin away entirely.

Well then.

Ever gentle, Shuichi set down the glass he'd been polishing.

 _My move then,_ the King of Light decided. Sometimes you just needed someone who was not directly involved to explain things plainly. He just hoped Akira could be pursued to listen.

_I wonder how much Shirogane-san has told him…_

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Shirogane was staring broodingly at his drink.

Despite that every single human had a Shadow, the Shadow World had never been very populated. At least, not with creatures that could be considered worthwhile company for an immortal, fleeting as most were. So really, Shirogane was used to solitude. Welcomed it even. But when being exiled from the only true home he had ever known since time immemorial, with his one true friend and equal having bled out in his arms and all his Children brutally murdered simply for being  _his_ , and with only one person to turn to whenever the hunger, grief, and misery got a bit too much, the loneliness just became too oppressive to bear at times.

And then there was Akira. Who was so much like the one he had lost; so wild and free, and yet at the same time  _belonging_  to Shirogane in a way no one had for a very long time. Akira was the bearer of Ryuuko's inshi, the counterpart of Shirogane's existence, his  _Childe._

Was it really so surprising he couldn't stay away?

But Akira didn't understand. Quite possibly had not yet assembled the pieces of the puzzle the Shadow King  _knew_ he had picked up. And while Shirogane had always preferred to keep interactions with humans short and superficial to avoid forming bonds with such transient creatures, Shirogane knew enough about their minds to understand that he couldn't just tell the teen why he could not resist keeping him as close as he could. Akira would deny him, simply out of wariness.

As he had denied him today. Given how genuine the young shin's ire had been, Shirogane had thought it prudent to give the young man his space. Even if the rejection stung like getting a face full of barbs and nettles.

 _Not his fault,_ the King reminded himself bleakly.  _Homurabi's. If he had not killed my other Children, they could have reassured Akira-kun._

At moments like these, hatred seethed beneath his skin like a sea of boiling acid. It poisoned him and clouded his judgement. Such an overwhelming sentiment could easily prove detrimental, as no one could predict when that detestable two-faced traitor would strike next.

 _One of these days I'll kill him for what he did. And I will_ revel  _in doing so._

Dark thoughts and darker promises, none of which he could act on at the moment. More's the pity.

To distract himself he sipped the alcoholic beverage, savoring the sharp tang of Baijiu. Guotai, if he wasn't mistaken. He licked his lips. Mmm, delicious. Trust Master to serve quality. Though Shirogane couldn't allow himself to get drunk for the same reasons he couldn't allow his hatred too much hold of him, he  _could_  enjoy the burn of strong spirits to lift his own past the soul deep ache his greatest mistake ever had left him. It wasn't as if he indulged himself that regularly.

"Shirogane-san, are you sure you are alright?" Shuichi asked as he obediently refilled Shirogane's glass when Shirogane held it out to him.

Shirogane sighed, and attempted to sound reassuring. "I am fine. Why wouldn't I be?" he replied airily.

Seeing that the concerned wrinkle between the rei's eyebrows didn't disappear, he probably failed to achieve the tone he had been aiming for. He sighed again, taking another mouthful of alcohol. Too bad. Shuichi was definitely suspecting something was off now. Honestly, the rei shouldn't bother. It wasn't as if he could do anything about the situation. Akira would warm up to him with time. Shirogane would just have to be patient, no matter how much he wanted to take the boy and hide him away from the world.

"How is Akira-kun doing nowadays?" the blind bartender inquired conversationally, breaking the silence that had settled between them.

Shirogane eyed him suspiciously. What was the rei up to? "Oh, he is fine," he replied nonchalantly. "He is adjusting well." Though not as well as Shirogane would have liked, especially where it came to fulfilling his role as Shirogane's Childe outside of handling tears and kokuchi. Discontented, he emptied his glass and ran a considering look over the many bottles that lined the shelves. Hmm, what should he take next?

"Is he?" Shuichi wondered, sounding oddly elegiac. Shirogane narrowed his eyes a little. Oh yes, the rei was  _definitely_ up to something.

"He still got a ways to go," Shirogane informed him. Looked forlornly at the few stray droplets clinging to the bottom of his glass. Softly he added, "He just needs time."  _Like you did,_  he left unsaid, but he was sure Shuichi understood regardless. Some things couldn't be pushed, and no amount of explaining would help if head and heart were not willing to listen. No matter how necessary it was they did. It had been quite a problem back when it was Shuichi, before Homurabi had made the discussion moot.

And even if Akira  _would_ listen, how could he explain a need he didn't even fully understand himself? In the past he had wanted to get close to his shin too, sure, but he had never felt so…  _desperate_ for his Children's acceptance. Maybe it was this solitude existence, or maybe because of the surety that Homurabi would kill Akira the moment he could simply to hurt Shirogane, and Shirogane didn't have enough of Akira's faith to trust the young shin would follow his orders.

Whatever the cause, he craved closeness to Akira like he craved to return to his home and feel the energy of the Shadow Realm wash through his veins once more, and he didn't know how to handle such a desire. Not when it was so overwhelmingly strong he sometimes couldn't help but overstep the bounds of the humans' code of conduct despite knowing such actions made Akira uncomfortable. It was maddening, because with every faux pas he could feel Akira pull away. Not entirely, but enough to slow the progress they had been making.

Shirogane blew out a breath and handed the rei his glass when the man held his hand out. "I would like some whiskey next," he said with feigned lightness.

Shuichi gave him a Look – a surprisingly effective one, given that he kept his eyes closed; Shirogane was impressed – but poured him a glass of the amber liquid readily enough.

"Drinking will not help," the rei said kindly.

Shirogane grimaced, knowing there was no need to hide the wry expression. "I know." He took a sip, savoring the taste. Excellent as ever. Master really did know his spirits. "But it does pass the time."

"Shirogane."

Shirogane tensed ever so slightly. Ah,  _now_ they would get to the point of the rei's casual questions.

The Rei King regarded him solemnly. "Shirogane, how much does Akira know?"

The King of Shadows stilled. One heartbeat. Two. Then he let his breath escape in a rush of exhausted air. "Not nearly enough," he admitted tiredly. "But for now he does not want to know more. At least–" he added sardonically, "–about the things he  _can_ know about, without putting his safety at risk." He drank deeply and smiled bitterly as he held out the empty tumbler for a refill, the ice rattling against the crystal with bell-like tinkles. Maybe a bit more of the potent liquid would be enough to convince himself that it was the alcohol causing the burning in his throat and eyes.

He attempted reassuring again. "Do not worry about it."

He wasn't the slightest bit surprised when he failed once more.

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Akira was on his way home from a clandestine visit to Master's bar the man had asked him to pay. Outwardly he was calm, but inwardly he was a seething mess of upset apprehension and anger. If it had been anyone else he wouldn't have believed what Wagatsuma had told him. But this was  _Wagatsuma._  Enigmatic vibes and torturous healing aside, the man was so earnestly concerned that Akira was incapable of  _not_ believing him.

Akira narrowed his eyes. He had suspected that there was something that caused Shirogane to act the way he did. He had assumed that it was Shirogane was a King, and thus probably used to doing whatever the hell he wanted without getting questioned for it. But what Master had told him, and carefully  _not_ said, yet ever so subtly hinted at…

Akira wasn't stupid. You couldn't keep your place as one of the top scorers of the school while being absent for more than two-thirds of the lessons if you didn't have a talent for absorbing information. And Master had given him all the pieces of information he needed to use the knowledge he already had to put together a disturbing image.

" _I know I cannot demand it of you,"_   Wagatsuma had said mournfully,  _"But for Shirogane's sake I implore you to at least consider what I have told you."_

Forget special bonds between a King and his Children. Akira wasn't sure he believed those existed and didn't know how to handle them even if they did. But he knew there was a simple, perfectly human explanation for the way Shirogane acted. Shirogane was old. Old, and lonely, and from a culture that probably differed greatly from modern Japan's. Quite literally a stranger in a strange land, who was deeply traumatized by losing everything he had and loved in one devastating blow dealt by one he had trusted with the most important duty he could bestow on someone.

He had read enough psychology books in his free time to know that that was a very dangerous combination.

And one thing that Wagatsuma had never said – never even  _hinted_ at – but what explained Shirogane's clinginess so well… Akira suspected that the King of Shadows was touch starved. Old and lonely and used to having other shin around who apparently did things like  _brushing his hair for him_ before his exile, and then suddenly always keeping his distance from other people, even – or maybe  _especially_ – during all the years he'd been on the run… Akira didn't have proof, but the signs were pretty damning. If Master and Akira truly were all Shirogane had then Akira honestly wasn't surprised anymore that the man clung to them like a limpet. In the light of that, all the times he had yelled at the shin for his forwardness weighted heavily on his conscience.

The combination of psychological problems was probably playing merry hell on the shin's mental and emotional wellbeing. Combine that with Homurabi's ever-present threat and the responsibility of looking after a bunch of headstrong, clueless teens who seemed incapable of  _not_ getting into fights,  _on top of_ the duty he had towards the balance between the worlds – a duty Shirogane was almost incapable of fulfilling due to his exile – and it was a miracle the Shadow King hadn't fallen to pieces already.

If he hadn't known Shirogane for as long as he had Akira probably wouldn't have cared so much. But beneath all the cheerful insanity and cryptic answers Akira knew the Shadow King wasn't a bad person. He had sent Akira's life spiraling into disaster after that terrible first night, but that wasn't really the shin's fault. Shirogane had just wanted to talk and hadn't intended for Akira to become one of his people, but had turned him to save his life and had then taken responsibility for that deed afterwards. He had helped Akira regularly by becoming his shadow, which had to have been massively inconvenient for the King, and he had even gone one step further and had done Akira's friends a favor without Akira ever having to ask. Akira may have protested and never said thanks, but he  _was_ grateful for what Shirogane had done for them, even if he was shit at expressing it.

The Shadow King was too good at pretending to be a cheerful moron, Akira decided darkly. Now he felt like a complete jerk.

Which was why Akira was fervently trying to figure out how to help the silver-haired man before the shin returned from wherever he disappeared to whenever Akira asked for some alone time. Which gave him a few hours at most.

It could be solved. Hell, Akira himself could solve much of it, at least when it came to Shirogane's need to feel a friendly touch. Thing was… Akira sucked at touchy-feely stuff. Telling Shirogane that it was okay, he understood now, and that he didn't really mind as long as Shirogane wouldn't try to kiss him or feel him up? He'd never get the words out.

Of course, he could try to make it clear through more indirect ways, but while Shirogane was smart and good at reading between the lines, he wasn't Kengo, who, despite his obliviousness, knew him well enough to always hear the important things Akira didn't say. And after the number of times Akira had pushed him away, he wouldn't be surprised if the older shin no longer dared to assume he understood correctly even if Akira was no longer rejecting his overly tactile overtures.

He sighed. Well then. Guess he'd just have to use big hints. There were plenty ways to give Shirogane some nice, clear, non-verbal clues.

It was a good thing the house was so big. Otherwise he never would have had a guestroom he could use for his purpose.

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Shirogane was staring dubiously at Akira. Akira was very pointedly not staring back, instead keeping his eyes trained on the book in his hands. Though the light flush in the teen's neck made it very clear this entire setup wasn't a coincidence.

Shirogane eyed the sizable empty space next to the young shin. Akira was leaning against a large pile of pillows in a bed that was big enough to comfortably fit two people if they huddled together a little. But instead of lying in the middle and claiming full occupation of the spacious mattress, the teen was lying deliberately on one side of the bed. And was pretending to read while he was very carefully  _not_  looking at Shirogane.

Shirogane took a steadying breath and ruthlessly suppressed the first stirrings of hope. When he had followed Akira here as his shadow he hadn't expected to be lead to an previously unused room in the teen's home. He certainly hadn't expected  _this._  Whatever 'this' was. He knew better than to simply assume by now.

"Akira-kun? Should I consider this an invitation?" he jested lightly. He was surprised when Akira pinked further.

"Do whatever," the teen muttered back with false nonchalance.

Shirogane blinked, bemused. Took in Akira's flustered appearance, the large bed, and the teen's ever so slightly white-knuckled grip on his book. The breath stilled in his lungs. Slowly, as if in trance, Shirogane took place on the bed, automatically setting his cane aside and removing his shoes so he wouldn't dirty the sheets. Removing his gloves, he gingerly reached out to touch Akira's shoulder, but hesitated before he actually made contact. He didn't want to screw this up, but if Akira was offering what he thought he was…

"Akira-kun?" he inquired, and prayed he didn't sound as desperate as he felt.

The young shin's blush darkened, and for a moment Shirogane feared he had guessed wrong, but then the teen leaned towards him so his fingertips touched his shoulder. "Quit dawdling already," Akira mumbled darkly.

Shirogane made a tiny sound in the back of his throat and wrapped the embarrassed teen in a tight hug, uncaring of his hat tumbling off his head or Akira's indignant yelp when he knocked the book out of his hands. He was too busy burying his face in the young shin's neck as he pressed himself as close to his Childe as he could. Akira was tense in his arms, but didn't resist as Shirogane shifted them to a more comfortable position and almost dragged the teen into his lap.

Shirogane was trembling and probably overstepping the bounds by a mile, but he couldn't bring himself to care because Akira had just moved his head to the side to give Shirogane more room. When Akira's arms hesitantly came to rest around him on top of that, Shirogane may have made a soft but highly embarrassing noise.

Akira was reciprocating. Didn't even protest the manhandling. The sheer relief was almost enough to make Shirogane's eyes water.

"Shirogane? You alright?"

Shirogane shivered at the sensation of Akira fidgeting with his braid behind his back. "Fine," he rasped against Akira's shoulder. Cleared his throat. "I am fine."

The young shin in his arms was quiet for a moment. "Okay," Akira replied, wriggling into a more comfortable position. "That's good."

Shirogane let out a shuddering sigh as he felt Akira's arms tighten around him. Shirogane felt some of the tension that had accumulated thorough his body over the years leak away, slow as ice melting at the first whispers of spring. Like dropping a candle's flame into a dark gorge. Warm, and welcome… but it would be a long time before the emptiness would cease to be. If that ever happened.

 _Don't think about it,_  he told himself as he breathed in the warmth of Akira's skin.  _Focus on the now._

And right now, Akira had pulled the end of his plait towards him and had undone the clasp, unraveling the thick rope of hair. Shirogane didn't mind, the light tugs on his scalp were quite pleasant, but he asked anyway. "Akira-kun?"

He could sense the young shin's discomfiture and moved to look his Childe in the eye, but Akira interrupted him with a statement that took his breath away.

"Don't worry about tangles. I'll help you brush it later." An awkward pause. "Master said you used to wear it undone. And that other shin… helped."

Shirogane was silent for a moment, stunned by the other King's audacious interference. Yet all he could feel was gratitude. "He is not wrong," he finally told Akira. A laugh. "I guess I should have expected something like this after last time. Not that I will ever regret this result."

"Last time?" Akira inquired suspiciously.

Shirogane hummed agreeingly. "I visited for a few drinks at his bar. And I may have been a bit more melancholic than is entirely wise in front of one so observant."

Akira absently ran his fingers through unbound silver strands. Shirogane basked in the sensation. "… You weren't going to tell me?" Akira asked quietly.

The old shin sighed softly against the teen's neck, smiling as that unexpectedly earned him an involuntary shiver. "I did not want to pressure you," he told his Childe honestly. "You were already so conflicted… I did not want to make you feel like you had no choice."

"… You've always given me a choice," Akira murmured finally.

Shirogane laughed sadly. "The choice between following my lead or death."

Akira's shrug jolted his head. Shirogane wasn't sure whether the teen had intended it that way or not. "Still a choice." More softly the teen added, "If you hadn't offered I would've died anyway."

Shirogane had no answer for that. It was true after all. Even if the disaster at Akira's school had never happened, with how strong his inshi was, sooner or later Akira would have run into kokuchi he couldn't avoid. And under those conditions, there might not have been a shin or rei close by enough to save him, even with Kou already keeping an eye on him.

Akira squirmed a little when Shirogane buried his nose in the wild hair behind his ear instead of responding verbally, but allowed the minor change of position readily enough. The wispy strands tickled Shirogane's face, but the sense of closeness that came from them brushing over eyes and lips more than made up for that. The ancient shin had to resist the urge to kiss the teen. Humans expressed their affection far less physically than Shirogane was used to, but this time Shirogane was determined to restrain himself. It was already a huge step forwards to be allowed to embrace Akira so freely; he didn't want to lose this tentative understanding between them to impatience. He didn't think he could bear such a distance between them again.

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Morning arrived with dazzling brightness, reflecting Shirogane's mood. Last night Akira had nodded off in his arms without ever trying to escape Shirogane's touch. Shirogane had been lulled to sleep by the sound of Akira's heartbeat against his ear and the warm caress of the young shin's breath against his skin. Even now they laid entwined beneath the covers, Akira's head tucked beneath Shirogane's chin. Shortly before Akira had drifted off Shirogane had removed his coat and tie and had loosened the top buttons of his shirt, so now Akira forehead rested unobstructed against the hollow of Shirogane's throat, fingers tangled in the fabric of his shirt and pressing lightly against Shirogane's lower ribs, the heat of his body leaking easily through the thin layers of clothes separating them.

Shirogane had almost forgotten how warm another person could be. Here, in his Childe's arms, it was as if a deep pain he had gotten so used to he no longer noticed it had suddenly eased. The proximity of the darkness that he had gifted Akira with was like sinking into the gently steaming waters of a hot spring after suffering winter's unforgiving cold for years. It had been so very long since Shirogane had been able to bask in the soothing presence of another shin's shadows, he had forgotten how much he missed it.

He stilled when Akira stirred with a soft sound that was too adorable for words, his face scrunching up in sleepy displeasure as he muttered something inaudible against Shirogane's chest. Shirogane barely dared to breathe as Akira's eyes blinked open. An unbidden smile curved the older shin's lips as Akira gave Shirogane's chest a confused look, as if he couldn't place what he was seeing.

Groggy grey eyes traveled upwards till they met his own. Shirogane watched with rueful amusement as they suddenly cleared and a vivid blush colored his Childe's cheeks. When he felt Akira tense and start to pull away he mentally heaved a disappointed sigh and relaxed his grip. It was clear the pleasant respite was over.

He was surprised when Akira abruptly stopped. The younger shin was still taut as a bowstring, but seemed to have recalled the previous evening, if the sudden conflict in his countenance was any indication. For a moment Akira scowled and looked like he would continue to distance himself, but then, against all of Shirogane's expectations, he huffed in defeat and almost angrily placed his head back where it had rested before.

Utterly bemused by Akira's unexpected but very welcome actions, Shirogane shifted a little to secure his hold on his Childe, grateful that he would not have to relinquish Akira's comfortable warmth just yet.

Slowly he could feel Akira start to relax. He reached up with one hand to run soothing fingers through Akira's wild mop of hair. For a moment Akira tensed beneath his touch and Shirogane feared he had made a mistake, but then Akira slumped into his embrace. A shuddering sigh brushed Shirogane's skin, and Akira slid one arm over Shirogane's waist in a partial hug. Throat tight, Shirogane continued his gentle petting, not daring to make a sound out of fear of shattering the peaceful moment.

He didn't know how long they laid there like that. All he knew was that he never wanted it to end.

Of course, nothing lasted forever. In the end Shirogane was forced to let Akira go because breakfast unfortunately didn't come to them on its own. While the young shin busied himself with his morning routine Shirogane sat up slowly, wistfully lingering beneath the covers to enjoy the warmth Akira had left behind a little longer.

Akira came in with a brush just as Shirogane was dolefully gathering his tousled mane. At Shirogane's surprised look he scowled, and told the older shin, "Move."

"Akira-kun?" Shirogane inquired confused.

Akira avoided his eyes, clearly discomfited. "You want help with that or not?"

Wordlessly, Shirogane laid down on his stomach, arms around a thick pillow, so Akira could easily reach the entire length of his mane. The teen gathered it, and then paused indecisively, brush hovering uncertainly over the gleaming strands.

Shirogane gently cleared his throat. "It is easiest if you start at the bottom and then work your way up," he told Akira.

"Ah. Okay."

Nostalgia welled up with unexpected intensity as he felt Akira's first tentative strokes. Gods, it had been so long since he had been close enough to anyone to have them willing to do this for him. He had Shuichi, but the rei King had so little time between covertly fulfilling his duty as King and pretending to be an ordinary human that Shirogane always decided against laying claim on what was left for such a mundane task. Particularly because Shirogane  _was_ perfectly capable of handling it himself.

That didn't change that he had missed this awfully. He sighed happily and focused on Akira's quiet attention.

Brushing the tangles out of hair as long as Shirogane's took a while, but the silence between them was comfortable and easy. The gentle, rhythmic tugs of Akira's strokes were relaxing, and after a while Shirogane sunk into an almost meditative trance.

When the brushing finally stopped it took a while for Shirogane to resurface enough to give Akira a discontented scowl.

Akira smirked, looking as if he had just heard a great joke. "You look like a cat," he told Shirogane, the entertained expression refusing to leave his face despite Shirogane's pout. "A really big, lazy cat."

Shirogane pushed out a petulant lower lip, but then had to yawn. "Good thing you like cats then," he replied.

Akira's grin softened into a small smile. "Guess so."

Shirogane sat up, running a hand through his now freely flowing locks. He couldn't have suppressed his pleased smile for the life of him. Akira caught it easily.

"Just ask if you need help with it again," the young shin stated abruptly, gesturing at Shirogane's hair. "I don't mind. And I'm sure that if I can't, Aya or Kengo would be perfectly happy to help you. Though you might want to save Kengo as a last resort, he sucks at being careful."

Shirogane's throat felt unexpectedly tight. He bowed his head so his hair obscured his face. "Yes," he said huskily. "I will keep that in mind."

XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX(xxxx)XXX

Shuichi turned his face towards the door when it tinkled. "Good day, Master," Shirogane greeted with genteel cheer.

Shuichi smiled. The old shin sounded much happier than the last time he visited. "Welcome, Shirogane-san. You seem to be in a good mood."

He could hear the genuine joy beneath the rueful amusement in the Shadow King's voice when the shin replied, "That obvious, is it?"

"To those who know you," Shuichi answered, putting away the glasses he had been polishing. "I assume Akira-kun and you managed to reach an understanding?"

"I should be mad at you for meddling in the relationship between my Childe and I," Shirogane remarked airily, "but honestly, at the moment I just cannot bring myself to mind."

Shuichi caught the unspoken words in that statement. "You're welcome," he told the shin amused. "Is there something I can get you?"

Shirogane chuckled as he seated himself at the bar. "A cup of tea would be gladly received."

Shuichi paused for a heartbeat when the sound of a heavy braid hitting the floor failed to make its appearance. Instead there was only a whispery  _swish_ of loose strands brushing against polished wood. Shuichi turned to prepare the leaves, relief making his smile more genuine than it had been since Ryuuko's death.

It seemed the King of Shadows had finally reclaimed a little sense of normalcy from the wreck Homurabi had made of their existence.

 _Good,_ the King of Light thought as he poured hot water, feeling more hopeful for the future than he had in years. Maybe they  _would_ be able to restore what had been lost after they defeated the treacherous King. The only sane King of Shadows finally taking the first steps to start healing could only aid in that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Warning again: this author's note contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.]
> 
> This was written in part because I cannot agree with how easily the manga overlooked the losses Shirogane suffered and the impact they must have had on him. No sane social sentient being can go through all that and remain as sanguine as Sorano Kairi made him appear, even if they are not entirely human. I can't speak for the anime since I've only watched a few bits and pieces of it (though I did incorporate some things) but the manga sure failed to properly consider exactly why Shirogane acted the way he did at the end of it. If it had, then Shirogane would have never, ever allowed Homurabi to live after what he had done, no matter how much Akira disapproved. 
> 
> Feedback is welcome, so please leave a review.


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